Friday, September 12, 2014

Lord, When You Close a Door, Will You Show Me a Window?

Waiting is not my forte.  Believe it or not, I am not a lazy person.  I need to be constantly busy, even watching tv I am browsing the internet, texting, & playing video games all the while holding a conversation with the person next to me.  I always need to be kept busy, be on the move.

I've been trying to become more patient & leave my life in God’s hands.  It is a new concept to truly hand over the reins & go where I am led.  I buck & fight & say, “but what about this plan?”  My biggest challenge has been the past month.  As we watched Ebola run rampant across West Africa, my heart's home, the uncertainty of the ship’s future plans was palpable.  As the choices for probable countries decreased due to Ebola, we were left scrambling to find a country that had a safe harbor & could support us on short notice.  On top of that, we also discovered an issue with one of the ship’s propellers & needed to return to shipyard in order to fix things.  One thing after another.

As we waited with baited breath to find out where we could go, a small voice inside kept telling me to do something.  I made a promise to help those in need & stripping & waxing the floors didn’t seem to be fulfilling that promise.  My feet were itching & my heart was aching, I needed to do something.  I kept having this feeling like I was needed somewhere, I needed to be helping.  I went as far as contacting Samaritan’s Purse & putting my name on their Ebola taskforce waiting list.  I had it all figured out, fly to the UK, go to Liberia, work for 2 weeks, fly back to the UK for 3 weeks of quarantine & then meet the ship where ever it was going to be.  Sounded perfect.  The dates seemed to be lining up, as more & more changes & challenges with the ship appeared, it was like God was opening the door for me to go.  I didn’t want to go, but I did. 

Uncertainty of the future is something I think everyone fears.  We like to know what is coming, we like to plan & have back up plans.  When we are asked to just wait & see, we become stressed, tempers flare, feelings are hurt.  Small issues become big ones.  So many times God has asked us to stop, listen & wait.  How many times have we thought we’ve known better? 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future” (Jeremiah 29:11)  One of my favorite verses.  As I look over this whole big mess of tangled possibilities, I know that God knows what I am supposed to do.

So we have a plan, a course before us now.  Even though we know where we are going, we cannot officially announce it yet until next week.  Needless to say, we are sailing away from the Canary Islands this weekend.  We will have a long sail, with a stopover for a couple weeks in another country, before continuing on to the country next.  I will be sailing.  I wasn’t sure, because I was waiting to hear back from Samaritan’s Purse about helping in West Africa, but another voice told me to rest, there will be other opportunities to help.  So I am going to rest.  My heart still cries for my home & friends back in West Africa, but I know I am to rest for now.

Please pray for
-  Protection over the people of West Africa
-  Their governments to make wise decisions out of knowledge & not fear
-  Protection over those that God has called to aide in the relief efforts
-  Our ship sailing into our country next

Blessings

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